Live Animals!

MINUTEMEN - "Ballot Result", 1986 (SST)

THE SKINNY: This posthumous release came out on SST in the summer of 1986 following the untimely death of singer/guitarist D. Boon on December 22, 1985. 1985 was a busy year for the group. They released two EP’s (one of which a collaboration with BLACK FLAG) and a full length, toured relentlessly (as they had been doing the previous three-four years) and were supposedly being looked at by every major label. THE REPLACEMENTS and HUSKER DU had crossed the corporate crossroads to compose for Sire and Warner Brothers. It only stood to reason that this little trio that could would sign on with the big boys- and we are not talking ‘bout the same BIG BOYS drummer George Hurley appreciates on this album cover via T-shirt either, Missy! Both of these punk rock bands shared a penchant for the amalgamate of funk, jazz and good old classic rock.1985 was also the year this writer got into THE MINUTEMEN. It started with the video for “This Ain’t No Picnic” early that year. From there to some songs I taped off a radio show and concluding with their raucous opening set for REM’s “Fables...” tour. As much as I ardently dug those Athens dorks at the time, these guys tore them about three new buttholes in a matter of one evening. For me it went on from slightly more than a moderate appreciation to being a true fan. After D. Boon’s death it became an obsession.

As I bereaved and begrudgingly began getting a hold of any album I could, I simply could not fathom the fact that a talentless low-life piece of shit such as the vomit-inducing Vince Neil could walk away from a car crash that he caused with nary a scratch, but D. Boon was dead from someone else’s negligence at the wheel for fuck’s sake! Why mostly the good die young while the worthless shitstains of society prevail? My new hero gone before we even really had a chance to get acquainted. The way a lot of folks boo-hooed about John Lennon and Kurt Cobain was my feeling about Dennes Dale Boon. As far as I’m concerned the man had more musical talent and more to say than those two put together. He also had a way better rhythm section to boot!

All right, enough emotive effuse. I’ll spare you for the time being. The idea of “Ballot Result” was a poll conducted from January to April of 1986 for MINUTEMEN fans to vote for their favorite songs for this “live” album swan song. From the 32 songs here, 28 from the list made it onto this two record set. One point about this record I must get across is that it is mainly for MINUTEMAN fans. As great as it is, a better place to start for the uninitiated would be almost any one of the studio albums. If “Double Nickels on a Dime” does not do for it you consider yourself truly hopeless.

This is not the typical live album where everything was recorded on one tour or the same year. The material here spans from 1980 to 1985, as do the actual recordings. Not all of the tracks here are live. Some are live in front of a crowd and others are “live in the studio”. There are also a couple studio album and ep cuts I suppose because they did not have any adequate live recordings of these cuts. “The Price of Paradise”, “Song for El Salvador”, “Dreams are Free Motherfucker” and “The Shit You Hear at Parties” are studio recordings. There is even a really bizarre remix of “No One” from the final “3 Way Tie for Last” LP. It’s also a scary reminder that the last couple of studio records were almost ruined by that dated 80’s drum sound.

My votes would have leaned to other material such as “Shit From an Old Notebook”, “One Reporter’s Opinion”, Working Men are Pissed”, “Beacon Sighted Through Fog”, “The Anchor”, “Maybe Partying Will Help”, “Corona” (one of the band’s more straight-up classic rockers and future theme for MTV’s “Jackass”), “West Germany”, “The Glory of Man”, the BLUE OYSTER CULT penned cover of “The Red and Black” and like fifty others. It’s really hard to believe nobody voted for “Ain’t Talking ‘Bout Love”. This infamous cover song was on an SST comp and noted for the fact that it starts at “Been to the Edge…” bridge of the song. After that straight into the “hey, hey, heys” and an abrupt end of this 38 second cover. All gripes aside, Ballot Result is a satisfying swansong to one of the best rock bands ever to exist. I guess trying to narrow down the better part of 150 or more songs is a task that can never be perfectly accomplished.

THE "RAISE YOUR LIGHTER" MOMENT": “Mr. Robot’s Holy Orders” goes beyond the original composition. It starts with a George Hurley drum solo and segue’s quickly into Mike Watt’s wicked bass licks. D. Boone then kicks into his lone guitar statement. At the end the three play together and the jam ensues. This, along with the low fi “Hell (second take)”, is the kind of “raise the lighter moment” that is bereft from the studio albums for the most part. Unlike most punk bands of the day, THE MINUTEMEN were not afraid of solos and had no qualms about ensemble improvisation (that’s “jamming” for all you simpletons out there). Other live highlights here include their roof raising cover of STEPPENWOLF’s “Hey Lawdy Mama”, “Jesus and Tequila”, “Little Man with the Gun In His Hands”, “History Lesson – Part Two”, “Political Song for Michael Jackson to Sing” and the aforementioned “This Ain’t No Picnic”.

Containing one of the longest thank you lists on any album ever (five years cumulative), "Ballot Result" is a fitting epitaph for one the best rock groups of all time. THE MINUTEMEN had it in spades: the musicianship, the songs and the attitude. They had it all and fate dealt them a fatal blow. However, Mike Watt and George Hurley’s subsequent work with FIREHOSE has stood the test of time as well. Watt’s solo albums, various projects (DOS immediately comes to mind), ‘04’s STOOGES tour and frequent write ups in Bass Player has solidified his legendary status as a musical artificer. There is still magic in his music. Life goes on.

- Herring