Let me preface myself by saying that I like some really light stuff. Second WIRE album, NICK DRAKE, RICHARD & LINDA THOMPSON, ELLIOT SMITH, etc. I truly enjoy the soothing washes of quiet music as it builds into something almost meditative and singular in it's approach. I do not like this. At all.

First off, when it showed up I assumed I was in for some kinda bestial version of DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN and all them there bands that sound like that, based on the cover. My thought was reinforced when I saw the Sabbath cover ("Solitude"). I assumed they would be using it as an interlude to something that had more chords than a Guitar Center employee's wet dreams could imagine. Then I saw a guest on the record listed for bringing some "supplemental shimmer" - no shit. Supplemental shimmer. Sounds like something that would come with the purchase of a BeDazzler (as seen on TV, natch!).

Not so. To get to the meat of it, this sounds like one long TYPE O NEGATIVE song done acoustic. Well, the vocals do anyhow. Like if that dude would actually just sing instead of trying so hard to sound deep and mysterious, it would sound like this. The music sounds like your typical dark folk ballyhoo, which when blended together sounds like a buncha goths around a campfire at a really lame summer camp. The image of which just made me spit Black Label ("Over a century of international brewing tradition") up.

I can see it now! "The Dark Lord commands you to hang down your head Tom Dooley! In the name of Satan, hang down your head and cry into sorrow's veil!" Too much. But, we know this will never happen because them pasty faced pancake wearing clowns ain't gonna go anywheres there ain't a Hot Topic within walking distance. Regardless, this shit is for the birds. I'd rather listen to an endless loop of "We Are The World" and "Do They Know It's Christmas" than this. Time to get back to being a degenerate and goth'ing up campfire songs.

- Two Tub Tony

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