Words you will never hear spoken: "Dude, 'Travesty Of Heavenly Essence' by THYRANE is a totally sweet album brah!" These idiots seem to have taken any combo of "heavy" words they could muster for everything they have put together. "Bro! 'Parasites Of Submission' is bru mufuggin tal!" is another phrase that will never be heard. This is dogshit for losers who can't decide if they like symphonic music or 80s thrash metal. Boring.

I need to make a wind chime out of all the shitty cds I get from Candlelight Records. They've already given me enough coasters to last a lifetime and they don't make very good cat toys. She likes bottle caps better. Enough talk about my pussy.

Maybe I'm stupid? I just don't care for this over-the-top "Guitar Center of the damned" crap. Some tool on the Peacedogman forum wrote some crap about metal being music "from and for the working class" not too long ago. If these guys have ever lifted anything heavier than their amps ever I would be surprised. Too bad they ain't from the Moooootown! Cuz if they were, I could at least drive past the McDonalds they're working at (as opposed to upsetting Lord Two Tub with this dog poop) and hear them ask "Thee Dark Lord commands! Do you want fries with that?" Sure, just don't get any of your funky goth metal patchouli odor on 'em, and we're in business. Time to get drunk.

- Two Tub Tony

OFFICIAL SITE: http://koti.mbnet.fi/thyrane/

MP3 SOUND SCRAP: Nox Diaboli

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