It's overblown, over-produced MAIDEN mania complete with a notice about it being the label's legal property on the back along with their P.R. and distro companies. If you put this promo turd on sale at a store nobody would buy it anyway! So why worry?

Apparently, Tim Aymar played in CONTROL DENIED with Richard Christie (that weirdo from The Howard Stern Show) and Chuck Schuldiner of DEATH. He wants you to know it too so he's wearing his DEATH shirt on the back of this CD. He looks like a cross between Tiny Tim and Andrea Dworkin; not quite "metal god" material. Then again, neither is this overblown steaming pile. To me, metal is about raw emotion. There's technical stuff sure, but go back to your MAIDEN records. Tell me that you can't feel the energy and emotion plowing through the recordings. This was more of a key factor than the licks, because with just licks, you're one of a million generic power metal bands like this one.

If they sell records, good for them. I'm sure the Guitar Center floor staff the world over will buy en masse, comparing it to other equally dreadful power metal bands the world over, also sporting really horrible Dungeons And Dragons inspired covers and writing songs with pretentious names like "Red Honor". "Red Honor"? Give me a fucking break! More like "Black Nausea" or at least "Crimson Boredom".

So from the dirty glove to the city of brotherly love (apparently that's their home town), I say this disc suuuuuucks and if you want your fucking promo back it's in the trash. Check the blue one because I'm sure the brown one is full. Plus tomorrow is trash day, so you gotta get here between 7pm tonight and 10am tomorrow if you wanna claim it. It will be under the cat litter and above the pizza boxes and rib bones. Have at 'er, fuckos.

- Two Tub Tony

OFFICIAL SITE: myspace.com/pharaohmetal

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