From the desk of Thee Two Tub Man

RE : Your band name

CC : Management

Fellas, you have a serious monster on your hands here. It's a total ripper. Reminds me of early HELMET doing that power sludge thing. You know, those heavy SABBATH-y tunes on the first two albums. And your vocalist! Wow! This guy sounds like someone is ripping his intestines out and tying them in bows. I mean seriously! Just flat out powerful stuff! Every tune is a winner! But, we have a problem: the band name.

Guys, here's the thing. When you have this winning combo you really want to have a name that is as powerful. I know you guys thought it would be fun to just randomly pick out words to throw together! But, here's the thing. Demographics have shown that a shitty band name will kill you faster than Raid on a bug. You really need to consider a change in band names.

Seriously. I know you guys have worked hard to establish yourselves and the branding has already been done. But, we all know how ineffective branding is when the product name does not

A) match the product in a way that establishes expectations and

B) does not resonate with consumers.

Clearly, we have a case of both on our hands. Also, we have received reports that there are several acts performing the same dog and pony show across the globe. They indulge in what we like to call "oversharing". We believe you may be in this boat as well. Y'see, until you're selling out 500 seats or more you really need to keep your product demonstrations to about a 30 minute window. Our studies have shown that brands develop negative connotations when overshared. Brevity is the key! Demonstrate the brand and then let the consumer decide if more is necessary. I'm sure you gents are bright enough to understand the quality of this wisdom.

All in all folks, it's superb. But, I have to give you points off for failing to brand properly. I expect to receive new product with better branding and the same quality. That's all for now. Oh! There will be bagels, doughnuts, and coffee on Tuesday in the conference room. See you there.

- Two Tub Tony

MP3 SOUND SCRAP: I am the Carcass

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