I am, for once, at a loss for words. I have tried to type this out three or four times only to delete it again and again. I just know the bad times are not over as I have two more discs that are sure to be as bland. Lawd have mercy! I just wanna get down on my knees on the cold, cold ground and scream "Why? Why must you torment me?" I'm just tryin to take it easy like Sunday morning (cuz it is), and here comes this soulless dreck. Can I get a witness? I need to testify! Deep down in my soul, from the crown to the ground this jive is just killin me people! They play it nice and smooth but there ain't no groove.

Monday morning is right around the corner and the first thing I'm gonna do is talk to the Reverend and let him know about my pain. It's the pain of having to listen to these discs and think of something to say that ain't been said a thousand times before. Last night people, I was stone drunk! Knocked right out! I popped this on in between some stone killers. We're talkin high caliber, high powered, high voltage (rock 'n' roll!). Then I drop this clunker in the cee dee player. Instantly, I was reminded of the wise words of a friend (who happens to run the most quality record store in the city). Some sucker was trying to pass off KENNY ROGERS and HUEY LEWIS records to him. He looked at the cat and said "These are garbage. Put these on at your party and see what happens!" Words of motherfucking wisdom!

I have never seen this band, but yet I have. They're everywhere. They hide under a myriad of names from here to Hoboken and they are all the same. Jive. There is no groove in the grooves. Just generic FROM ASHES RISE meets some sludge band garbage from a buncha dudes trying to sound angry that ain't. At least FROM ASHES RISE sounds angry and you can feel it. The couple of times I've seen them, I became uncomfortable by the overbearing aspect of their sound. It's like a steamroller going over you and it just makes you feel suffocated, like they were sucking the oxygen out of the room. The only thing this band has in common with that would be the sucking part.

- Two Tub Tony

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