Speedy, tight, spunky, and played by humans. One of the prevailing aspects of classic thrash is the living, breathing, imperfect authenticity of it all. Those HIRAX and DISCHARGE records aren’t cold, ticking Pro Tools experiments like some of today’s headliners racing to bore you. THE ACCÜSED are cut from the classic mold. The boys don’t present quite the “if we play it any faster, we’ll fuck it up” charm of early SODOM or VENOM, but the dart lands in the outer ring that touches both classic punk and speeding metal. The tongue-in-cheek humor, wacky cover choices and obscure slasher movie interludes were fresh and exciting when the band debuted in 1981, and this latest disc is a testament to the fact that they are still originators and never bandwagon-jumpers.

On the whole, “Oh, Martha!” is the CD that 1992’s “Splatter Rock” should have been, minus all the filler. 13 new tracks flash by like a tasmanian devil, trashing your bedroom and leaving the usual trail of green slime and blood stains imprinted into your heavy metal psyche. Niemeyer’s calculated burst of E-string sawing sound absolutely glorious, locking and synchronizing perfectly with the thump thumpery of Steve “O-Ring” Nelson (who last appeared on 1989’s “Hymns for the Deranged” EP). Throw back the twin espresso shots of “Crapassreality” and “Fast Zombies Rule” and see if you can keep the shades from flying off your headbangin’ noggin. Blaine’s screams are a little less blistery on this one, but the overall vocal delivery sure ain’t. For cover choices, we’re treated to an ACCÜS-ified version of TANK’s awesome “Filth Hounds of Hades” and OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN’s “Have You Ever Been Mellow”. Produced by Endino and mastered by Scott Hull of PIG DESTROYER, so you know it’s got that cheese-free thrash ‘n roll charm that’s worth paying import prices to experience. Except you don’t have to. And if all that’s not enough, Blaine and the boys have re-recorded the original classic “Martha Splatterhead” EP under the razor-sharp skill of the above-mentioned intelligentia. So you get all the twisting, burning, metal wreckage of “Distractions” and “Fuckin' 4 Buck$” minus the swampy, skuzziness of the original mix. The CD package artwork is phenomenal and they’re doing the whole distribution thing themselves, so go to the site below and fork over twelve bucks already. And check out our interview with Blaine on the interviews page. Then take two seconal, three aspirin, and lay down.

- Marchman

OFFICIAL SITE: www.splatterrock.com

MP3 SOUND SCRAP: N.E.S.

RELATED ITEMS: ACCUSED interview, 2005