Can you hear the building fanfare? How about the bustling and murmuring among the residents of Valhalla? The sudden sense of exhiliration in the air can only mean one thing: the return of our favorite rock 'n roll warrior, John Thor! Forget Nostrodamus and the Bermuda Triangle. Forget the seventeen year locust. No force of nature can compare with THOR. Nobody brings the thunderous combination of bulging muscles, sleazy women, and loud guitars that THOR uncorks. The gods be praised!

Despite our grumpy 2005 review, "Thor Against the World" turned out to be one of the year's most enjoyable records. Pure sleazy KISS / ALICE COOPER five-chorders complete with occasional horns and John's "I can make a rhyme with anything" lyrical prowess. How could one resist the Vegas vibes of "Megaton Man" or "Easy Women" anyway? Such a fantastic combination of cheese and brawn hasn't surfaced since the Kane Roberts era. And now, he's dealing us another savage blow.

This time, the renaissance man has developed a different spin on his aural pounding. The classic rock vibes of "Thor Against the World" have been replaced with a heavier, more metallic approach steeped in the harmonic squeals of ZAKK WYLDE and the midpaced metal anthems of MANOWAR. But whatever the medium, THOR delivers his message of muscle-based world domination like a pro. "Cold White Ghost" charms it's way into your heart quickly with a galloping JOHNNY CASH-meets-TWISTED SISTER tempo, complete with John's lyrical magic "There's a cold white ghost tonite / I wanna be your host tonite." It's like Hamlet! Pure genius! But the real showstoppers are "The Return of Odin's Son" (Dawn Hatcher's sleazy cooing vocals are the perfect foil to THOR's macho man-speak in this epic) and "Tale of the Wolf / Warriors of the Universe" (complete with a spoken word /bass intro that makes Ross the Boss seem like a pastry chef and a glorious pompy piano melody recalling the "Rocky" theme), both of which are powerful enough to have you donning a sword and Speedo post haste and following THOR and his porno moustache through another twenty years of conquests.

- Marchman

OFFICIAL SITE: www.thorcentral.com

RELATED ITEMS: No related articles at this time.