They have an emo-style band name, and the members all look like they're set to meet George Michael for a late-night truck stop rendezvous. Clearly unconcerned with "metal cred," Chicago's DANCE CLUB MASSACRE has thrown their hat into the ring for the "hardest, fastest, and most extreme" band of the month with their debut, "Feast of the Blood Monsters." Apparently, this was a self-released disc put out last year that is now reaching a bigger audience since the band was picked up by Metal Blade.

Overall, there is very little to differentiate DANCE CLUB MASSACRE from the rest of the unending dung heap that is the grindcore genre. Blast beats that sound like a machine? Check. Screaming vocals? Check. Goofy song titles that make no sense? Check. Does the plentiful use of gothy keyboards separate them from their genre co-conspirators? No. The keyboards serve only to ghey the proceedings up to levels that will send any "true" metal fan into dry heaves. And no, your stereo isn't eating your CD on the last song "You're What the French Call 'Les Incompetents,'" they actually wanted it to sound that way. If only these dweebs were able to channel some of the anger evident on this record into high school gym class, they likely wouldn't have been beaten up so much. Then, the world might have been spared the existence of another passionless, soulless, cookie-cutter cancer cell eating at the carcass that was once the music industry. If only…

- Broadbent

OFFICIAL SITE: myspace.com/danceclubmassacre

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