Ladies and gents, bruthas and sistas, yin and yang. I present to you, you poor wretched soul, without the taste of Pushead's skeet skeet skeet skeet ahhh, CAVITY. I could just stop the review now really. There is no morning after. Not much more to say. This is flatter than your first girlfriend, deader than the look in your eyes when you walk into work with that monster hangover wondering when you're gonna grow up and stop that shit. God knows there's nothing more pathetic than pushing 30 and binge drinking on a Tuesday night is there? Maybe it's the chemicals. Maybe I don't down enough to understand the crush of all these slo-mo bands that all sound the same. Booze just makes me wanna rip it up and hear fucked up noise ala most of the Wrench Records back catalog. I'd be willing to bet that the LIL BUNNIES "Bunnie Hole" single is still on the turntable right now. It should be! Fuck! I'll play it right now in tribute to my current hangover and the one I'll have tomorrow. No worse for the wear, I will live on to do what it is that I do. And what I do is sit hunched over this stupid machine on a Saturday morning typing out these stupid words, waiting for the energy to go shower and hunt for records. Maybe stop and have the first one of the day at the bar next to my favorite record shop before diving headlong into the nite to enjoy more noise and fucked up art.

So back to downers. They sum this sort of band up. No real threat of violence from a kid on a handful of darvos is there? You can't full blown rock out and have a happenin party in that state neither. You just wanna be left to your own devices. Hiding in your apartment, hoping the land lady don't know. Sure isn't sexy either. Once (to illustrate my point) during my summer of Vicodin (went thru 2 big pharmacy bottles of 750's in 3 months) I once passed out while eating pussy! No shit. Naw, there ain't much to do when downed out besides drink a 40, sulk, play the entire SABBATH back catalog (stopping at "Sabotage" and picking up again at "Heaven And Hell"), and feel your body hmm. Like the feedback of these guitars on this. But, it's been months since I've flirted with downers and, aside from aspirin, dropped pills. I don't really smoke pot either. Unless, it's at a party and I might take me a toke. I don't do things like leave one bar for another to "sober up" because there's dark corners where I can be left alone and not many people I know.

I'm just more into things that adrenalize me or make me go crazy with insane thoughts. I like feeling like an ubermensch off to stormtroop the universe. It suits my hyperactivity just fine. SLOTH just ain't my cup of tea. I can't just lay around man. I need action! Constant action! And turning my brain to putrescence with a bucket of glop floating thru my system ain't gonna cut it. Well, ok, my system is basically a bucket of glop but c'mon kids! Outta bed! "We're goin' outside to have some fun!" Or at least to experience life in some form. You can't do that downed out man. You just sort of lay sloth upon your disheveled couch staring at the TV with this kinda racket blaring out.

In closing, this record is destined to go down in history as the greatest record since THE VILLAGE PEOPLE's "Live And Sleazy" and will most likely sell 100 x more units than anything my sorry ass will ever do. Where's my beat up copy of the PDR?

- Two Tub Tony

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