Most hardened metal snobs such as myself would instantly and instinctively turn their nose at a band called ARSONISTS GET ALL THE GIRLS. The reason? It's a scientific fact that bands with long, nonsensical names tend to consist of kids with ADD who make random noise meant to appeal to other kids with ADD. And while this may be the case for this Santa Cruz quintet as well, one can't deny that their new album "The Game of Life", with its solid death metal riffs and imaginative sound, has something to offer the more mature crowd as well… so long as they're willing to give it a chance.

Admittedly, song titles like "Save the Castle, Screw the Princess", "Shoeshine for Neptune" and "Taiwanese Troft Trouble" don't make the songs themselves sound like they hold promise. Luckily, the music itself is surprisingly spot-on, with a production that's crisp and, most importantly, heavier than a dump truck full of donkey balls. Imagine the all-over-the-place riffs of CRYPTOPSY mixed with spacey synth and dueling low/high growlers and you'll have some idea of what's going on here. More than once the combination of these elements brings to mind Devin Townsend and STRAPPING YOUNG LAD, particularly on the more frantic tracks like "Save the Castle" and "To Get Eaten by Rats". To switch things up, their slower grinding riffs on tracks like "Cuffed to You Ankles" and "Robando de los Muertos" rival those of CEPHALIC CARNAGE. And just so the listener doesn't get too comfy, there are the odd bouncing DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN-esque touches like the intros to "Claiming Middle Age a Decade Early" and "13 Year Old Ruby".

With a name like that, it's not too surprising that, according to the band's bio, they started out as a joke band. Well, after playing "The Game of Life", it sounds like these kids have found the perfect balance between no-nonsense technical ability and zany fun. More than anything, this is an intense listen, so those who have trouble making it through a whole album of the bands listed above should probably take this one a few tracks at a time. Those who can handle something this extreme, however, should by all means dive head-first into "The Game of Life" to find out if what they band's name says is indeed true.

- Cardona

OFFICIAL SITE: myspace.com/agatg

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