This band will go down in history as having the longest name in thrash metal. And this is some tough shit. I haven't gotten this excited about a thrash metal disc since I heard that DEATH ANGEL got back together. Relapse must have big plans for these guys.

What we have here folks, is a few fine young lads from Pennsylvania playing an awesome sort of technical thrash. Spots on this debut rival seminal works by the past masters like KREATOR, DESTRUCTION, WARDOG, and the aforementioned DEATH ANGEL. We have got the riffing, the soloing, the rhythm changes and the mathematical precision to pull it all off. We have the heavy hand of bass resting firmly on our chests, making every musical punctuation mark count with painful emphasis. We have got a drummer that keeps up effortlessly, and gives the tunes backbone and legs to can stand on their own. The vocals are not for the faint of heart as they are growled with über-angst, but the lyrics are quite discernible. The 'hook' if you will, is the tongue-in-cheek lyrical content. Songs like "Stealing E.T.", and "The Day Merman met Todd 'The Harpoon' Wilson" are just examples of where this band will take you. Hands-down pick for best track is "Orange and Black Attack" (are these guys old enough to remember STRYPER?) All this talent and a sense of humor too. Will you guys marry me?

Anyway, with music this good, the only thing that can ruin it is crappy production. Again, no worries. Surprisingly enough, the guitar sound goes from riffing to soloing without any breaks in quality, and believe me, there is a dizzying amount of switching! RUMPELSTILTSKIN GRINDER may not be the most original band out there, but for full speed thrash, this is the ticket. It'll hit ya where it hurts, and I know you perverts will just keep asking for more. So for fans of the classics, or bands like THE HAUNTED, DEW-SCENTED, or KING'S EVIL, grab this quick and see 'em on tour now.

- Murtaugh

OFFICIAL SITE: www.rumpelstiltskingrinder.com

MP3 SOUND SCRAP: Stealing E.T.

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