Once in awhile, we'll poke fun at the geezers who stopped buying new music ten or fifteen years ago. These are the guys that play it safe, sticking with reunions and reissues, maybe a SPIRITUAL BEGGARS or WOLFMOTHER album here and there after a few radio singles or recommendations from friends. All kidding aside, I can't blame anyone for playing it safe if they stuck their toe in the new music pool with something as horrible as SCAR SYMMETRY. If this was the only representation of 'extreme metal' to which I was exposed, I'd probably throw in the towel as well.

It doesn't come without warning: the slick action-movie logo is right out of the Sensory records catalog. Without checking the liner notes, it's obvious from the very first song that there are at least 5-6 guys in the band; it takes that many to concoct a Pro-Tools crazed, overdub orgy like this. Plus they're Swedish, so these guys are probably all in a bunch of other projects of varying quality. But there's no quality within a hundred miles of this sucka.

The real giants of melodic death are able to stand on the shoulders of giants like classic MAIDEN, SAVATAGE and PRIEST in terms of songwriting and melody, amping up to the guttural, speed-crazy punch of the Schuldiner era. But these guys...they really pull out all the stops, convinced they're the heaviest band to come down the pike since SUFFOCATION or NILE, but only during the verses of each song! In reality, these 'heavier' segments sound like a synthetic version of DISTURBED, augmented with multi-character comedic growling. The overall effect is that of a giant audio fart. Then the sickly sweet clean-side-of-Åkerfeldt voice blankets the choruses like a flowery air freshner leaving the atmosphere reeking of fart and fake flowers. Woodpecker drums click everywhere, lifeless sweep picking guitar wankery jumps out at every turn, and even some CHILDREN OF BODOM-style organ makes an appearance in a track or two. It's hard to pick a winner in such a train wreck of an album, but "Mechanical Soul Cybernetics" takes the cake with laugh-out-loud bouncing, zany tempos and a cast of growly voices that make the whole thing sound like a Tim Burton cartoon. Pathetic.

- Marchman

OFFICIAL SITE: www.scarsymmetry.com

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