SOOTHSAYER - "Have a Good Time", 1989 (New Renaissance)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY? I'm not really sure of the details regarding how I picked up this sucka. I submit that even the most ardent fan of goofy Canadian thrash, rolling out the PILEDRIVER and INFERNAL MAJESTY without grinning, will still marvel at the triscuit-spreading goodness of this one. I can vaguely remember being sucked in by my fondness for New Renaissance stuff (remember CHYLD and BLOOD FEAST?) Then again, the copy I'm staring at clearly indicates release on the Restless label. I must have had some good reason, because I violated my sacred "no thrash post 87" rule when this came out. All that funky bass crap like MORDRED had me scared to pick up anything else of this ilk. I guess there's only so much room in the 'ol Peacedoggie mental disc drive, because I have no clue. Yet, here it sits on my player.

DOES IT HAVE ANY MUSICALLY REDEEMING QUALITIES WHATSOEVER? I heard their original demo back in '86 or '87, and remember thinking that it sounded cool, almost exactly like SACRIFICE. Speedy, screamy, skate-thrash kind of stuff. And the band is extremely tight. It's just vocalist Stephan Whitton likes to alternate between a John Connelly / Blaine Cook sort of scream and a dopey babble, highly reminiscent of actor and MTV irritant Pauly Shore. Just when you find yourself reaching for your air guitar, Whitton goes from thrash screamer to court jester, as in "Buzz Fly" when he exclaims in his best Pauly voice, "Oh, you're looking for the Burger King / Which planet do you come from?"

WHAT KEEPS ME FROM PITCHING IT INTO THE TRASH BIN? Like most great cheese, this is a keeper to play at those late-night-get-togethers for endless yuk-yuks. The ballad, "The Game" is one of those classic "so bad, you have to love it" cheeseball ideas that doesn't seem to fit in at all on a thrash album. But if hearing someone that sounds like a dorky MTV VJ sounds like your bag, then this puppy is calling your name. Ironically, I think this one has become an ebay collector's item. Coming soon: underground sitar players that look like Jenny McCarthy.

- Marchman